I'm excited about our travel plans this year—so much is happening!
Before settling into a committed relationship, I traveled extensively, visiting roughly 50 countries. Yet, over the past year, I’ve developed a fear of flying—a fear I never had before. I once loved the freedom of soaring through the skies. So, what changed?
I believe my subconscious is at work: my ego—an outdated voice—whispers that if I'm happy, everything will fall apart. It’s as if joy comes with a hidden price, and I must be punished before I’m rewarded.
This hit me during a holiday on Komodo Island. I was on a boat trip exploring when anxiety took over. I wondered, “Why am I scared on this boat?” I love being on the water—I even used to work on boats!
The turning point came when I noticed that same fear creeping into my writing—a clear sign my ego was stripping away what lights me up. I’ve never shied away from sharing my raw, vulnerable self; after all, I’m still working on my memoir!
During therapy, I confronted a hard truth: a part of me still feels undeserving of love and happiness. Fear, masquerading as safety, has kept me anchored in the past and crippled my ability to embrace what I truly want—freedom and joy.
Today, I say, “Fuck that.” I refuse to let fear steal what makes me come alive. I love to travel, be on boats, and write.
I remind myself that happiness should be our default setting by staying present and savoring each joyful moment. It's something we deserve, not only in fleeting moments but for extended periods.
I'm embracing the journey ahead with my first stop in New Zealand, where I'll watch Elizabeth Gilbert—one of my favorite authors—speak live while my husband goes fly fishing.
Later this year, I'll hit Nihi Sumba, then head to Australia for my first cricket and rugby games, and unwind in the Maldives. I'm especially excited to explore Africa—new spots and old favorites in South Africa, Kenya, Madagascar, and Tanzania.
With a bit of love and practice, I can choose joy over fear—reclaiming my power and passion for life. Here’s to 2025: a year of fearless exploration, unapologetic joy, and living every moment to the fullest!
Much Love
Lauren
