This Is 41
Yesterday was my 41st birthday, woohoo! But, in all honesty, for the most part, it felt like any other weekday, with minor variances. One was due to celebrating with my close friends over the weekend and still feeling the effects of a hangover. Yes, it's true the older you get, the longer a hangover can last, especially since I hardly ever party anymore.
The other slight differences included lovely birthday messages, thank you to everyone for reaching out, and very thoughtful surprise gifts from my amazing man. One particular surprise brought tears to my eyes, a fresh flower delivery weekly to our home, which I could enjoy for many months. Fuck, I don't have the words to describe the amount of gratitude I feel.
Otherwise, my birthday consisted of a typical day. First, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, did some work and writing, and enjoyed the sunshine by our pool. Then, ending the day with sunset vibes on our terrace with tea and my favorite chocolate birthday cake, cuddling sessions with my dogs and partner, take-out Chinese food, and watching a movie before lights out at 9 pm. If someone told me this is what my life would look like, I would call bullshit!
Yesterday got me thinking, "Well, what exactly is a birthday supposed to feel like?" I've never been someone to want to make a big deal out of my birthday. The older I get, the less I want to do; it feels like any other day. So instead, I cherish it as a day to celebrate within my small loving community, or when it is easy to travel, I enjoy exploring somewhere I've never been.
Over the years, I realized my circle of friends gets smaller and smaller, and being an introvert, I'm delighted with that. But, on the other hand, my mother always told me if you can count the number of solid friends you have, on the one hand, you should consider yourself lucky. So I'm beyond grateful for the phenomenal people I have in my life.
Each year I also reflect on how much I've grown from my crazy toxic lifestyle that seems like a completely different lifetime. What a wild ride life has been so far; the older I get, the better it's getting. Finally, after years of suffering, some self-inflicted, I've reached a point in my life where most days are consistently good.
It feels good to admit that without falling into the trap of judging myself for not having accomplished all my dreams. As Oprah says, "You can have it all. Just not all at once." Well, Oprah, I'm getting there! I'm excited for another magical year around the sun as I continue learning, growing, and creating a life I've envisioned and watching it naturally unfold.
Much love,
Lauren