Born To Be A Badass, Chapter Share

This week I've decided to jump a few chapters ahead and work on Part 1, Chapter 8, called Dear Dad. My father's birthday was this past Tuesday, August 11th, and I decided to do something in his memory.

This particular chapter has not been the easiest to write, and I've had many moments where I had to step away to process my emotions. Nevertheless, I hope you guys enjoy it, and I would love your feedback!

"Our usual outings eventually came to a halt. Instead, outings now consisted solely of doctor's visits to Columbia Hospital. Each time we went, he became more and more fragile. Finally, it reached a point where he was no longer eating and could hardly walk.

I questioned why they couldn't just hook him up to an IV to get him the necessary nutrients and fluids that he couldn't administer otherwise. But the doctors would do nothing other than look at me in despair. They knew the inevitable truth: he didn't have that much time to live. The lack of communication and my father's treatment like he didn't matter made me angrier with each passing day.

I tried desperately to take things into my own hands, praying I wasn't too late. Then, I started looking for alternative solutions, opening my eyes to the holistic approach to the mind and body connection. Searching for answers outside the norm of western medicine became my mission.

Maybe, I could take my father to the Amazon and seek out a shaman. Or maybe changing his diet might hold the key to keeping him alive long enough and rebuilding his strength. I even went as far as hypnosis as an option. Hoping to change his mindset into believing that he could survive the battle that his regular doctors deemed as just hopeless.

I blamed the chemo- a poison- that my father had been putting into his body for two years as the culprit killer. It was a brutal reminder of what I also believe took my grandmother in her battle with cancer during my teens. The cancer just kept spreading at a rate that was unbearable to watch. As the days went by, my father just got worse. Still, I never gave up and kept my promise to do whatever I could in hopes of healing his sickness.

One evening I headed upstate to check on my father. The plan was to go food shopping for healthy food to begin his healing journey. When I arrived, I found my father helpless, sitting on the floor. I didn't want to show any sign of weakness because I desperately wanted to keep his morale high, but all I wanted to do was run away and cry. He was skinny and weak, and deep down, I knew he was dying."

Sending love & light,

Lauren