Born To Be A Badass, Chapter Share

This week I've decided to share Part 1, Chapter 4, called Adulting? So this is your 20's! Chapter 4 has a lot to it, and I might turn it into two separate chapters; we will see. In any case, I hope you guys enjoy it, and as always, any feedback is much appreciated!

"The next morning was brutal. I was overwhelmed, feeling that James's attempt to commit suicide was all my fault. All I wanted to do was contact him and tell him, "I'm sorry, I love you. Please forgive me."

I knew I couldn't and had to obey his family's wishes to keep my distance. I understood how upset and angry they were; I was the scapegoat and didn't dare tell them the whole story.

Suddenly, my phone rang. It was James on the other end. I was terrified and didn't answer, allowing the call to go straight to voicemail. Instead, I immediately called his mother, letting her know he was still trying to contact me.

I wanted to make good with the family and let them know that I was willing to do anything to help out, even if that meant I couldn't be in contact with him. His mother, who I felt hated me at this point, was grateful for letting her know. And after we hung up, I realized he had left a voicemail.

I thought, should I call her back and tell her he left me a voicemail? Part of me felt that even listening to his message was against what his family had asked me to do, which required to stay the fuck away.

I was scared to listen, not knowing what he would have to say, but I couldn't help myself, so I played his message. Still, to this day, I can remember him uttering the words, "I'm about to jump off the Whitestone Bridge."

Sending love & light

Lauren