Acceptance

Acceptance is an essential step, and I believe it goes hand in hand in the healing process with forgiveness. Acceptance, just like forgiveness, doesn't mean agreeing or forgetting the trauma that might have happened. Instead, acceptance is the acknowledgment to perceive, detach, and embrace reality as it is without resistance, so suffering is not necessary.

So what does it mean to resist?

Resistance is fighting against the reality of your current situation. We tend to do this by avoiding, distractions and running away. However, it only works in the short term, meaning the current circumstances are still present.

During the resistance, we tend to say things like "this isn't fair" or "I can't believe this is happening to me." These thoughts can leave us stuck if we don't willingly accept our experiences from moment to moment.

There was a time when I was ashamed and didn't accept certain aspects of myself, such as the inevitable battle with my shadow self. I have faced this many times and always try to keep it at bay. At this point in my life, I was in a revolving situation, addicted to self-pity parties and destructive behaviors. I ended up in my darkest places of suicidal thoughts, toxic relationships with drugs and alcohol, and using sex as manipulation to make easy money for not-so-easy deeds.

I realized I could start the healing process once I stopped fighting and acknowledged my reality without shame, guilt, or judgment. I recognized it was easier to coexist will all parts of myself, even those I deemed detrimental, than escape them. So I began to practice self-surrender and learned to love all aspects of myself.

Once you notice resisting, you can start shifting the focus to what you can change. Redirect your energy and ask yourself, "ok, this exists; how can I handle it." Practice giving attention to what you can control - yourself. Recognize what you cannot - things outside of self.

One of the greatest lessons is that another person's experience differs entirely from yours. Therefore, do not take things personally. Everyone is on their journey. You can take your power back by making space and accepting yourself first.

Accepting where you remove blame, criticism, and denial. Coming to your current situation brings guidance to move on, and you can begin getting where you want to go—staying present and focusing on responding instead of reacting to your cards at hand. Eventually, you can get to the point where you allow things to unfold without needing anything external.

You will be pleasantly surprised by saying yes to life rather than no. Permit yourself to accept the past for what it was and not let it dictate your future. Step into the power of conscious choice to make the best possible changes that will ultimately transform your life.

Allow, surrender, and accept!