The last time I was in New York was for Christmas 2021 when COVID-19 was still prevalent. I can’t believe it’s been two years since then when so many of us were highly affected; it feels like a lifetime ago.
Today, I’m returning to New York for the holidays, and in the past two days leading up to my departure, I have had moments of extreme anxiety. My logical mind has been busy creating stories to make sense of it, such as “I’m probably just traumatized from the Covid-19 shenanigans. Or you’ll relive the pain of those Big T traumas you left in New York.”
These internal voices have made me so afraid that I didn’t even want to fly today, and I’m not scared of flying. Knowing that most of the narratives I tell myself are either my own BS or stories that I have collected from someone else, I knew the greatest solution to my fearful state was my daily morning meditation and prayer.
In my silence, I asked the universe, spirit, God, Divine, whatever you want to call it, to guide me through my feelings without judging them and tell me what I needed to know. The answer I received was clear and simple: “Go With Love.”
What does that mean? For me, it means going with a fresh new pair of eyes, as if I’m meeting New York for the first time, which changes my feeling from anxiety to excitement, making the other stories no longer relevant. It’s also me deciding to choose love and peace over fear.
Even though I now feel calm, grounded, and aligned with that beautiful answer, I decided to double-confirm with the universe and ask for a clear visual sign. In less than a minute, the sign I asked for was shown to me, and I began to cry, which lately I’ve been doing a lot of from practicing heart openers (blog for another time).
Thank you, life, for the divine guidance. I now feel more or less at ease. I’m excited to see my family and friends. See you soon, New York!
Much Love
Lauren
