Living on a Prayer

Mother Earth is my Mother

Father Sky is my Father

I'm a perfect child of the universe

I shall no longer play victim or savior

For I shall only stand in my truth

I surrender to love

I am Love

Until yesterday, I wasn't sure what I would write about this week. I have a lot of ideas, but the past couple of days, I've had zero motivation, feelings of depression, and a self-pity party who invited his best friend self-sabotage to join in the festivities. So maybe that's an excellent place to start, the present moment.

At first, I began searching for excuses for why; maybe it's the holiday blues with my father's 3rd anniversary coming up, or I'm not where I want to be just yet. All legit reasons, but then I thought maybe I don't need to give myself an explanation as to why I feel the way I do. Perhaps it's just another story I'm feeding into, and it's ok to sit with my feelings and not have to find all the answers, remembering that the clarity to the why will eventually unfold.

Using the opportunity to quiet my mind and permit myself to sit with these uncomfortable feelings, I realized these are just feelings. Letting them come, accepting and nurturing, and letting them go. The beautiful thing about emotions is every day is a new opportunity to start over, and the unpleasantness will always pass.

Another helpful tool has been using my personalized mantra (please read above). I quote Bon Jovi, "Living on a prayer," and I do just that daily. Every morning I repeat this mantra to deal with negative emotions (loneliness, anger, sadness) and keep me connected to my inner truth (Love). I have even incorporated it on a vision board.

Side note - If you are in the New York area, check out the fantastic women at Dehya Yoga Studios this weekend, hosting Vision board expert Kimberly M. Daniels).

As I dive deeper into deconditioning, I have realized that before significant moments in clarity (breakthroughs), a storm (conflict or confusion) always comes ahead. The process of evolution is ongoing. I will continue to stay present, feel whatever I need to explore, and surrender to the unknown—having the willingness to keep moving forward towards my vision, secretly feeding into my subconscious mind, and never giving up!