Self-Reflection
Yesterday was Nyepi, also known as the day of silence here in Bali. On this particular day, no one is allowed to leave their homes or use electricity for 24hrs. Its primary purpose is self-reflection. It's quiet, peaceful, and one of my favorite days. It also happened to fall on the New Moon in Pisces, a time to reconnect and tap into our intuition to move forward towards bright new beginnings.
At the beginning of the week, I started to feel a much-needed shift in my energy and asked myself, "Is what I'm doing aligning with who I truly am and where I want to go." For the most part, my answer was yes, but I also knew slight changes needed to occur. So what exactly are those changes? Well, I'm still working them out.
Reflecting over just the past few weeks, I realized I was in a particular cycle of things that I've tried repeatedly with the same outcome of feeling burnt out. I could feel and see that I was rushing life again with the BS story in my mind saying, "Lauren, if you don't do this now, you will fall behind and end up being a failure."
One, who the fuck am I falling behind? And two, failure is a great teacher who guides us to a fresh new perspective to try again. The key is to have faith and take the necessary action. Once again, my message was to slow the fuck down. Shocking! But the repeated pattern needed to show face again, almost like hitting rock bottom where "I've had enough of this," was required to make changes finally.
The burnt-out feeling usually happens from not staying in the present moment and worrying about the future. But, besides the burnout, I also felt icky in my body caused by my ego-driven mind's made-up expectations. What occurred was that I was punishing myself for things that felt forced—realizing that this state of suffering makes no fucking sense and is a clear indication that I was out of alignment.
By noticing my repetitive pattern, I began to shift gears and start each day to refocus my energy on things that make me feel empowered and alive. Doing so has helped my mind turn to the many gifts that bring me joy and get my creative juices to flow again. Everything else is not aligned; I've intentionally started to let go of and drop away like a bad habit.
Being human includes endless possibilities and outcomes that only we have the power to decide. So if you feel stagnated, unhappy, or stuck in repetitive situations, remember that everything else will begin to change by making the slightest change. All you have to do is take the first step. And remember, baby steps!
Much Love,
Lauren